well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
