Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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