Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
