Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
