No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
