This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
