Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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