So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
