We're facebook friends in real life
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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