I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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