I'm going to jail i love you
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
