That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
