Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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