So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
