You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He better not be in your backpack
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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