anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
