You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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