We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
