Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
