I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
