you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
