in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
