good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
