You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
