Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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