I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
