I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
