but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
