i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You're like the curious george of whores
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
