fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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