The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
