Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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