dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
