Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
