but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
