I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
