You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
