I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
