I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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