I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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