I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
