i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
