So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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