Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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