Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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