ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
