So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
