i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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