If i come over, it means nothing
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
