Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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