Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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