why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
