I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
